The Amazing Spider-Man Review

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

The Amazing Spider-Man is a too-soon reboot with some issues but not without a good goal. If you're a fan of classic Spidey, give it a chance but don't expect much. Plus, it has Emma Stone looking hot as usual.

That's not webbing.

Since Spidey is one of my all time favorite heroes, and I enjoyed the first two Sam Raimi films, this movie had a lot to live up to. Following in the footsteps...webswings? of the Raimi films is no easy task, but I have to say, I found it AMAZING (see what I did there) that I didn't hate this Spider-Man film. Perhaps because Spidey's last film was so...disappointing. Remember how Spider-Man 3 was supposed to have this dark, gritty tone and instead we got Eric Foreman and jazz step Peter Parker? This film pulls off the darkER tone but still recognizes that it's source can only allow for so much. I had hoped this would erase all of the bad feelings I walked out of Spider-Man 3 with, but the hurt goes too deep. Amazing Spider-Man does a heroic job of trying though. It's just so hard to forget that I paid to see some of my favorite characters getting raped on the big screen.

I have so much PTSD from Spider-man 3 that I get flashbacks and seizures whenever I watch That 70's Show

THE GOOD

When I first heard that a dude named Mark Web was taking over the Spider-man legacy, I honestly thought it was a joke. As time went on and nobody was laughing I started to fear for the worst. Spider-man 1 and 2 are among my favorite superhero films, and besides the ridiculous dialogue and Mary-Jane's constant capture/rescue, featured everything I wanted to see from a Spidey film. 

The Amazing Spider-Man takes a different approach to the origin story, instead focusing on the disappearance of Peter Parker's parents under suspicious circumstances. Peter's loss turns him into a more modern loner. A geek who spends his waking hours alone and his school hours harassed. He has a bit of a rebellious streak in him which I thought lends well to this story. Even the story itself serves a reboot well as it sets Peter on a new path giving it a freshness to carry through the rehashed moments. 

Characters themselves are filled with actors bringing a fresh, youthful feel to the universe. Aunt May, as played by Sally Field, is less old and tired and more broken and worrisome. Uncle Ben, Martin Sheen, is a strong voice, with a conviction of morality that he instills in Peter through sacrifice and pain. He brings a sadness and joy to the role of Uncle Ben, a character doing his best to raise a child as his own.

Andrew Garfield plays Peter Parker well, but I'm not sure if I like him because of his slender frame and more teen like demeanor appearing more like the Spidey that I enjoy. He pulls off the angst of a teen very well but didn't quite sell me on the persona of Spider-Man. Though they tried to create a Spider-Man more akin  to his comic version, full of fun quips and enjoyment for his powers, I felt that the darker tone of the film didn't quite mesh. His somewhat bully attitude overrode his usual whimsical style to create a hero that was not well defined but someone I would still like to see grow as character.

Gwen Stacy was finally given some justice with Emma Stone but I just love her anyway. She's sexy, geeky and fits genuinely into the environment, never turning into a damsel in distress. 

Even Captain Stacy as played by Dennis Leary felt like a fun character who was wasted on the overall plot of this film involving the Lizard. He pops up to give the typical banter about hero versus vigilante bullshit.

Rhys Ifans plays Curt Connors, aka Lizard and I thought he was another strong character in the story. He seems like a true scientist with a deep desperation to have his missing arm back but not at any cost. Connors makes the right choice in the film, deciding not to begin genetic testing on unsuspecting humans...that is, until...

THE MASSACRE

Connors loses his grip on his sanity, becoming more lizard than man with every dose he takes of his own experimental serum. That's okay, it kind of fits with the character, but the story was so rushed that by the time we first see the Lizard, it seems he is already on a path to spread the serum to all of the people in the city in an effort to eliminate disease and weakness. 

This super-villain plot is too comic book and doesn't mesh well with the more realistic take on the universe. As if a Lizard rampaging wasn't wild enough, now he is going to use genius intellect to disperse the serum in some glowing sky cloud shit. How did the Lizard maintain that kind of mental faculty but lose the emotion connected to just how wrong this is. 

When we first see the Lizard, it hunts down some idiot who plans to begin the human trials anyway! Within a half hour the entire character flips to megalomania and the story goes from an intriguing new take on Parker's family past to Saturday morning cartoons. 

Wait, no, even the cartoon had Connors threatening only his personal family, his base instinct to care for them overriding his human logic. Upping the scale makes things more heroic to Hollywood. Hell, even the cartoon story set Spider-Man up for the repercussions of exposure to Connor's experiments!

Look at that shit!

For me, the villain needs to have a clear motive and depth, something to contend with and be a match for the hero. A true obstacle. 

The Lizard was not this kind of villain, and instead of embracing the opportunity for a more intimate threat, this story went to the kind of blockbuster climax we have all come to expect from superhero films. 

Raimi's first two films are excellent examples of using each story in the ways that fit the characters involved. 

Green Goblin is a power hungry maniac who finds a personal enemy in Spider-Man. In the end, some of the public is involved in his scheme but all to lure in and break the hero. 

Doctor Octopus is fueled by his arrogance, his hubris when it comes to his intellect. He simply cannot believe that his experiment failed and so, forced to operate outside of his own lab, turns to crime to rebuild and prove that he was not wrong. These are personal issues revolving around personalities. That's why it works.

By the end of Amazing Spider-Man, there is no rhyme or reason to the final conflict, and there is no personal investments. Not to mention that this final encounter has absolutely nothing to do with the repeated theme of the film: What happened to Peter Parker's parents? There is no desperation by the end, for Peter to save Connors and uncover the truth of his involvement with Peter's parents. It was like Spidey got blazed and totally forgot.

In his blaze haze he ate entire bags of Funions and Cooler Ranch Doritos as well as no less that 14 King Size Peanut Butter Snickers.

I would like to see a Director's Cut someday because I feel that this movie was very rushed and cut to the point of feeling very choppy and like a made for TV special. Too much time is spent with Peter gaining his powers and too little is spent building the character of Curt Connors. 

And the web-shooters. What the fuck is the point of making web-shooters that contain a strong silk like webbing created at OSCORP? Nobody would notice that shit missing? Or that the shooters take cartridges of which, one of the shortcomings is running the fuck out! No swinging! Happens to him all the time. Only when the Lizard crushes his shooters is Spidey helpless to swing. 

Every film should feel like it has a beginning, journey, and an end. This film leaves on a sour note, the silly villain's plot is foiled, the hero hints that he will still be with the girl, and a mysterious figure wants to know what Connors told Peter about his parents. Nothing seems finished. Peter never found the man who killed Uncle Ben. Nothing was revealed even remotely about Parker's parents. Connors is locked up being visited by shady dudes. Perhaps Toby Maguire?

Wait! CHARLIZE?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

THE VERDICT

Overall, this movie is just...there. It exists. It isn't horrible but that's judging by the standards left with Raimi's Spider-Man 3. I feel that, had some kind of balance been struck between the approach to story of Raimi's trilogy and the new gritty feeling of Web's, somewhere is the perfect Spiderman experience (though, for my money, Spider-Man 2 is as good as it gets). There is also the sad news of a Venom movie still in production. So, even if this story continues on a large scale story arc, we won't be seeing a classic villain and a major step along Parker's path involving the symbiot, both of which fit more nicely into this darker universe than they did in Spider-Man FUCKING SHIT ON YOUR DREAMS 3!